featheredhugs: (Default)
[personal profile] featheredhugs posting in [community profile] ltsh_ooc
I was at a support group where someone had, upon hearing a few things I have gone through, said "Wow, that must have really defined you." I didn't particularly agree, but it did make me think about what things did define me.

The challenge for this month is Defining Moments.
What things have defined your character? Was it a particular event? A decision? Did it change them? Does your character think so?

((•))
silverfox: (Default)
From: [personal profile] silverfox
-It's all we ever get anyway.- Rissa said. -And I don't really mind. At least when they hit me they don't look away.-

But she accepted the ice-pack Razzle handed her anyway.

-You're too meek.- she added instead of a thank you. -What use is it to always obey your teachers, if they'll let them hit you anyway?"

Razzle didn't say anything. What could he say? He still had a black eye and was limping from when that Elhessar boy had been bored yesterday. It rather proved Rissa's point, didn't it?

-Well, I'm not taking it anymore.- she told him. -I'll make them acknowledge that I exist. You'll see. I'll be so bad from now on that they'll never be able to look away again.-

-And what will that prove?- Razzle asked her.

-That I exist.- Rissa declared haughtily. -And that I am not a fucking coward like you.-

-I'm not a coward.- Razzle stated. -I just don't see the point of it. Your proof isn't worth anything. It will change nothing. All it'll do is prove that bastards are just as troublesome and worthless as everybody says we are.-

-So you're going to prove that we're not by what? Letting them all pretend you don't exist. How pathetic!-

Once again, she was probably right. Not causing trouble wouldn't make anyone realise that you weren't troublesome. It just made them ignore you. There really wasn't any proving it.

As for proving that you were worth something, well, you'd have to do something really important for your clan and how could you if your very existence shamed your clan? If all you'd ever be allowed to be was cannon fodder, if ...

He'd turned his back on Rissa and walked out of the laundry room letting the door glide shut behind him just in time for something to swipe past his head and collide with it.

'Bop - crash!' The boy who'd just missed the punch at his face overbalanced and fell against Razzle.

Razzle sighed and pushed him back onto his feel.

-Hello Skotz. Have you still not figured it out? If you stand like that you've got to use the other fist.-

Skotz only gaped at him.

And then it just slipped out: -Really, it's not interdimensional technology. Whose idea was it to send you here of all places if you can't figure out how to punch someone?-

-And just what do you mean by that, bastard.- the boy behind Skotz demanded.

Damn, he was in for it now. Well, might as well continue as he'd so foolishly started.

-Well, do you think they'll pass Skotz if he falls over like this at the exams? If I were a hungry Th'Hone, I'd only have had to open my mouth and swallow. Great Commander Skotz my ass. He won't pass first year.-

-Oh yeah?- Skotz drew back again ...

and while he did graze Razzle's face this time there was no power behind it because he was already tumbling over again.

-Wrong hand again.- Razzle reminded him. -Or lead with the other foot.-

-You're risking a pretty big lip here, bastard.- Tork spoke up. -Why don't you show us how it's done if you know so much better?-

Razzle looked at him. -Are you asking me to hit you?-

Tork grinned. -Why not?- he laughed.

Well, if he wanted him to. Razzle shrugged and struck just like their hand to hand teacher had shown them.

'Bomp' Tork fell down on his ass.

Razzle blinked. -Don't you remember how to duck?-

-You hit me!-

-You asked me to. I thought we were practising punching and ducking like we did with the dummies in class?-

By all rights he should have been punished by the teachers for striking a legitimately born student, but for some reason Tork never reported him. Nor did he or Skotz make a game of hurting him again.

Not that that made much of a difference. There were enough others at the academy that enjoyed punching people.

To Razzle another point was much more relevant anyway: He didn't exactly consider hand to hand one of his better subjects. It required a lot more effort than most, yet apparently he was better at it than not only Skotz, but also Tork, both of whom were convinced they'd be great Commanders someday.

'Well,' thought Razzle amused. 'If those two are going to be great Commanders, I'll be the greatest of them all. And wouldn't that show Rissa? There isn't much more one single Outrider can do to honour his clan than becoming a Commander.'

He almost laughed out loud at himself. Right, a Commander when he was a bastard and entering him into officer's training would already draw way too much notice. They'd never let him try unless they thought he really would make Commander.

But then, what could it hurt to put in an effort to prove himself better than his classmates wherever he could? 'Aim for the brightest star and see how high you can throw your spear.' He'd give his best shot and see how much he could prove.

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